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Billie Eilish Doesn't Get The Van Halen Mural On My Van

Cracker 2019-12-03 00:00:00

You see, a popular teenager not knowing an old band made a lot of old people feel old, so they got mad. It's stupid, but it's a consequence of being faced with your inevitable irrelevance. But hey, at least their vans don't have a detailed mural on the side that Billie would stare at slightly puzzled, wondering why guitarist Eddie Van Halen is playing his famous red-striped Fender Stratocaster while riding atop a flaming steed. She just won't understand that the horse symbolizes the fury and equine grace with which Eddie shreds. To her, he'd just be a guy with old lady hair riding a combusting farm animal.

Yes, I have way more skin in the game than anybody else complaining, as evidenced by the enormous, airbrushed "Diamond" David Lee Roth kicking the devil in the balls with one of those mighty leaps from the "Jump" video. And yet, I'm totally cool with it.

YouTubeDo you honestly think David Lee Roth cares what people think about him?