If You Don't Use These 5 Words, People Will Think You're Really Ignorant
Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
As the year begins to stagger to a close, you start to look around you, hoping that you're still acceptable to the world.
Sometimes, it's hard to know.
You've been working so hard. You're been manically pursuing goals you wrote on a napkin in a particularly seedy bar.
And you still don't remember how you got home from that bar.
Could it be, though, that those you work with think you've lost it?
Well, here's a simple test. If you know -- and use -- the following five words, you're still au fait with the world's direction.
We'll start with one that surely everyone knows: Floss.
Ah, but wait. This isn't the meaning associated with slipping a piece of string between your teeth.
Instead, it's a little dance that people perform if they want to look especially silly.
You performed it in that seedy bar, didn't you? That's a relief.
Alright, let's move on to VAR.
Yes, it's easy to get your acronyms in a twist. VAR doesn't stand for Variable Accounting Regimen. Nor is it Vineyard Arrest Record.
Instead -- surely you knew this -- it's Video Assistant Referee, the device that tries to help soccer referees make the correct decision and still manages to occasionally fail.
No, it's not something to do with meat. Some might say, however, that it's something to do with meatheadedness.
For the Collins definition is: "A person, typically male, middle-aged, and white, with reactionary views, especially one who supports the withdrawal of Britain from the European Union."
Oh, you didn't know? How reactionary of you.
Then there's the most difficult of these words: Plogging.
No, I'd never heard of it either. It's apparently the practice of jogging while picking up litter. Or picking up little while jogging.
But doesn't stopping to pick up litter defeat the cumulative aerobic effects of jogging?
Finally -- and the winner in Collins' great race -- is Single-Use.
Surely everyone knows and uses this. Well, at least once.
Single-Use describes the greatest scourge of our times, I'm told.
These are products that made to be used once and then thrown away. Yes, like T-shirts from H&M.
Please don't let that happen to you.
If you aren't familiar with these five words, you, too, could be a one-year wonder, there to be thrown away by capricious rivals or recalcitrant employees.
That might turn you into a Gammon.